Writing A Query Letter

It's certainly a suckish truth. Fact is, most Query Letters are very hard to write. If it came easy, I congratulate you, because you know your book like a reader does. Readers (okay, most readers) don't get caught up in every detail writers look at as vitally important. Readers only focus on the story. Which means, without being bogged down by these all important details, they have a much easier chance of answering the question, "What is the book about?"

Possibly the hardest question ever asked in the literary world. And, just our luck, it's pretty much what the Query letter is. What your character wants, how your character will get it, and the stakes if your character fails. But, as writers, we don't see our books as that simple. There is so much more, we insist, that must be said! But does it have to be said?

When I was writing the third version of my query, I realized something. I couldn't use the simple formula above, I had to tweak it a little, simply because Eric doesn't know what he wants for most of the book. Even at the climax he's not sure if he's making the right choice, if he wants to give up half of his being. And that caused some complications for me, because I felt like I needed to show everything that led up to the decision. I needed the agent to understand why things happened, even if they were small and didn't serve a final purpose. In other words, I thought every last conflict was vitally important. Which, of course, it wasn't. At least not in a query. Let me give you an example.

This was my very first Query. And while I succeeded in keeping it rather short, it lacked detail.

Dear Agent,
Eric Vilanova is evil. And, truthfully, he likes it that way. So when he dies and winds up in Heaven, he's a little pissed.

But after an innocent prank causes too much trouble, he's told he has to at least pretend to be good, or risk the wrath of his new friends. Talk about a welcome.

Eric struggles with pretending to be good, especially when his friends begin to believe his act. But when Eric discovers the ruler of the Spirit World, Acelin, is planning to instigate a war between Hell and Heaven he has more problems than his acting skills. When Acelin stops the war, she'll gain the trust of Heaven and punish Hell as she sees fit. The problem? She wants Eric to do her dirty work.

Now, caught between his new friends and the dark promises of Acelin, Eric is forced to make the decision that could destroy everything. But does he want to be evil, or good?

BEING EVIL is a YA fiction novel, complete at blah blah words.
{contact info}
Thank you for your time and consideration

From, Me

You see? It wasn't absolutely horrible, and it peaks some interest, but it needs a little more meat. Unfortunately my next try gave meat, seasoning, salad, and potatoes all mashed together in a confusing redundant mess.

Eric Vilanova is evil. And, truthfully, he likes it that way. But when his Sorter Lari places him in Heaven and his Patron Julia tells him he’s going to live in a fern, he’s begging for Hell.

After his ingenious plan to get kicked out goes wrong, he meets with the ruler of the Spirit World, Acelin. He’s even more confused when Lari and Julia seem to not only hate her, but are afraid of her. They warn him that he has to at least pretend to be good, or else they’ll be put in Hell as well.

Eric struggles with pretending to be good, especially when his friends begin to believe his act. Especially when he begins to believe it. But he has more problems than his acting skills, when he discovers the ruler of the Spirit World, Acelin, is planning to instigate a war between Heaven and Hell. When Acelin stops the war, she'll gain the trust of Heaven and punish Hell as she sees fit. The problem? She wants Eric to do her dirty work, so she keeps her hands clean.

Now, caught between his new friends and the dark promises of Acelin, Eric is forced to make the decision that could destroy everything. But does he want to be good or evil?

I really just slammed revisions into my old query and hoped they stuck. I added things that could've been said better, and didn't really need to be said at all. But I thought they were vitally important. Plus, it had mistakes.

This is my latest try and it, also, is destined to be eaten and spit back up in a sobbing broken mess. But I think it's getting somewhere. Because I'm finally seeing that I don't need an info dump, but a little information here and there won't hurt.

When Eric Vilanova dies and ends up in Heaven, there’s only one thing on his mind; how to get out. But his ‘ingenious’ plan only lands him with a meeting with the ruler of the Afterlife; Acelin. To his surprise, Acelin is fooled by his fake files, and lets him go. Which only makes Eric wonder why the files of his life were tampered with- and why his new friends are so keen on kicking the new ruler off the throne?

Eric agrees to take part in the conspiracy. Unfortunately, his main role in the plan is to pretend to be as good as his file suggests, which doesn’t come easy. Wandering around one night, he discovers Acelin’s plan to get support from Heaven. She will start a war between Heaven and Hell. When all seems lost she will come to the rescue, gaining trust and securing her power. She wants Eric to help, but first, he must kill one of his friends.

Suddenly, Eric doesn’t know what he wants. He doesn’t want to help Acelin, but this is a one way ticket out of a place he hates. He does hate it…right?

Slightly better, not quite right, but I'm on track. Which, frankly, makes me slightly happier.

Feel free to chew it to bits (erm...critique it.) Here. (You do need an Absolute Write account, although I think most of the people who read this have one already.)

-Jessie

50th Post! (Clerid's Tales, Part One)

Dealing with letting BE sit and rust for awhile is taking some effort, I have to admit. My first instinct was to tear it to shreds in editing right away. I know it's better to let it rest, but I can't help it. I want to finish. 


So in my new effort to keep my mind away from BE, this is a (really) short story I wrote. I don't know how good it is, but I figured it would keep me doing something to escape the madness. 

Clerid eyed the grubby, shrub covered landscape as a personal insult to his honor. How he hated the stupid place he was in, filled with all the stupid trees and stupid plants it could muster. And all, it seemed, to wreak complete havoc on his happiness. Plants are supposed to be green. Definitely not brown, and not a thriving brown at that.

Flicking his staff angrily, he turned around to trudge up the hill again, hoping, for an instant, that everything would have suddenly, magically turned green behind him.

It hadn’t, which only served to make his mood much worse. He busied himself with knocking pebbles down the hill with his staff. He started out with small stones, slowly growing larger in size as his walk went on. Finally, almost at the height of the hill itself, he saw a boulder. A beautiful, majestic, wonderful boulder. He decided to knock it down. Bracing his staff behind it, he pushed and shoved and cursed until the boulder broke free of the ground and went down the hill in a crashing, destructive sort of way. Feeling as sort of depressed sense of achievement, he watched his handiwork crush the stupid brown ground. He would have been more proud of himself, had the boulder not been brown.

“Hey!” Blinking in surprise, Clerid spun around in time to see a woman walk clear out of an ancient oak tree. She crossed her arms angrily.

“I’ll have you know that was my favorite boulder. It was the only one I could stand to look at for hours at a time. I lugged my tree halfway across the plain to watch this boulder, and then you come along!  What have you to say for yourself?” She asked threateningly, brandishing a rather evil looking twisted root. Clerid stared at her a moment, then continued on past her, down the other side of the hill.

“Right fine day this is.” He muttered at her. She raised her eyes in disbelief, then turned and looked forlornly after the boulder. She could hardly make it out; it had already blended in with the rest of the landscape.

“It had potential.” She answered glumly. The dryad turned and followed after him silently, picking up small burned flowers as she went and crushing them in the palm of her hand.

“Where are you headed?” She asked him. He glanced back at her before turning away again.

“Does it matter?” And she had to admit, it didn’t.

See? Silly, but I have to admit I rather like it. I'm reading a Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy right now so I'm trying my best to replicate redundant humor. Oh I love these books.


Okay bye, everyone!
-Jessie

So uh...I'm insane.

Yes I am. You wanna know why? Because just days after completing BE, I am now outlining two more novels.
Oh yes. You read right. Two. More. Novels.
I am insane.

And as much as I enjoy writing and the two new novel ideas, I can't actually believe I'm starting one so early! I mean, my imagination practically abandoned me toward the end of BE, but now that I'm done it suddenly wakes up and starts running on the treadmill again.

On top of that I also have to figure out which one I should actually start. I know normally people, when faced with this dilemma, just switch back and forth. But my past experiences show that, well, it just doesn't work for me. I end up getting bored and scrap all the novels. BE was almost scrapped in a situation like that. (I'm so happy it wasn't!)

I love both new ideas and I cannot figure out which one to choose. Want to help?

WIP #1 (Just Add Water)

Cassia London’s obnoxious Aunt Daphne is coming to visit to…discuss her ‘desperate need’ of a husband. In a ditch effort to avoid the conversation (again!) Cassia decides to visit the hedgewitch. Maybe there’s a potion that will make her aunt nicer. Or turn her into a frog. Whatever works.

Instead of finding the witch, she finds the witch’s son, who shows her what she really needs; a seed that grows into the perfect man. Just add water!

Cassia is almost positive she did something wrong. The seed grew into Zayn Merc, an obnoxious self-proclaimed ‘bad boy’ who seems to destroy everything he touches. Including Cassia’s garden.

Unfortunately it’s too late to get a refund, because there are no more seeds left and Auntie Dearest has arrived.

To her surprise Zayn acts perfect, charming her aunt into an almost pleasant mood. Cassia starts to fall for Zayn. Maybe he wasn’t so obnoxious after all.

But then the truth comes out from the hedgewitch. There’s a reason they’re called the seeds of all evil. You can’t help but fall in love with your seed. And then the seed dies.

I know that's long. Bear with me, the second is much shorter!.

WIP #2 (Lost in Whimsy)

Alice and Dorothy are twin sisters, with nothing to do. After Alice begs Dorothy for a story, she finally agrees. The two are so absorbed into the story, they don't notice anything wrong. Until Alice looks around and notices they aren't in their backyard anymore.
They're in Whimsy, the strange land, home to all of Dorothy's stories. And somehow they have to get out. Because one of the side effects of being in Whimsy? You tend to get a little insane.


Okay the second one doesn't have a great amazing description (it's late okay?), but it is slightly more exciting for me. They're both YA for now, although I don't know how the Dorothy and Alice story will turn out. And I did check to make sure Alice in Wonderland/Wizard of Oz are free game for writers. Apparently they are, although if anyone knows something different please let me know.


So what do you think guys? Lost in Whimsy or Just Add Water?


-Jessie

Well Maybe it's your fault

Mood: Kitty-Bear (Finally!)

I'm back, with great news everyone! As you know, I lost my yellow notebook, that had a couple chapters in it. I was upset and angry and definetly didn't want to rewrite everything (which is what I convinced myself would happen). Obviously, it wasn't the complete end of the world, but I had a little bit of a meltdown.

But I still hadn't successfully found it, and on Thursday i was about to just give up and write the dang thing. Hell, eventually I would have to anyway. As I decided this, who walks up? Beta-reader. (That's her official title btw)

Now it should be noted that during the Great Hunt, Beta annoyed me everyday, wondering whether I had found it yet. So when she came up to me on Thursday I was already to deflect her question.

"Did you find the yellow notebook yet?" She asked, overly-cheerful for it being 7:30 a.m. on a cold rainy morning. So I rolled my eyes and walked around her.
"No, I didn't." Truthfully, I was more concerned with pushing people out of my way to get to the only mode of transportation I had with heat; the bus.
"Good, because I have it." 

I nearly pounced on her and tore the notebook off her body. What did she mean she had it? This whole time? With her being annoying everyday? SHE HAD IT?

One long story and angry bus ride later, I had my precious yellow notebook as well as my crushed (mauled, destroyed, beyond repair) notepad with the last chapter on it.

So I have my notebook! And I have started working on my query which has been cheerfully ripped apart at Absolute Write forums. Yay! Next post, I'll put it up...if I can find the pieces.

-Jessie