Bartholomew

This is Bartholomew. He's our family spider.

Bartholomew is very good at catching flies. We've known him since he was barely the size of a ladybug. Now he's about an inch from the tips of his legs.

Some people think this is strange, to have a 'wild' spider living in your home. Well I like Bartholomew. I think he *was* adorable. That is until he grew up to be a raging bloodsucking monster in waiting!!

You should see him hunt! A fly gets caught and BAM! He jumps down and gobbles the thing whole. Then he propels up like a freaking navy seal and lands in the EXACT SAME SPOT he was before.

Now I'm using capitols because I want to impress this point onto you.

I have a trained Navy seal spider that can kill in seconds. That's right agents. Be afraid. Be very afraid.